On occasional Saturday nights, selected clients of Sarah Joy's salon convene for haircuts and socializing. One evening, a shotgun pressed against Sarah's forehead changes their little paradise forever.

1. You're tired of conventional adversary/hero stories.
2. You want to read something different.
3. As you get older you are learning to appreciate both the concept and the idea of "quirky".
4. You're intrigued to know that there are parts of this book that you will love and parts that may mildly offend you.
5. You have hair.
6. You periodically get your hair cut.
7. You like to actually get to know characters, and settle into a book.
8. You like to feel, when you're reading, like you're either in front of a raging fire or on the beach.
9. You want to figure out who's holding that shotgun.
10. You want to figure out where the fictional salon, The Conscilience (Sarah Joy, Proprietor) is located.
11. You want to buy the book now, just for the cover!
12. You're trying to figure out what to do with the Amazon gift certificate you got for Christmas.
13. YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT SUMMER READ - everyone will be talking about it, you know!
14. Every purchase helps residents of the Jersey shore in their rebuilding efforts. Please buy two!

Monday, December 17, 2012


People who do book advertising suggest that a chapter or perhaps the first ten pages be shared. Since, it is common, we won't do that.  Instead, what follows are some lines found in the book. They should give you some kind of taste of Saturday Night with Sarah Joy's. Perhaps.  Here you go:

If you know someone who can replace the windows, please let them know that there is probably a fox living in the basement, and I'm pretty sure he's pissed.

William was grateful that he lived in a place where italics were so easy to hear.

Claudia has four distinguishing, memorable features: her hair, her dress, and her chest.

On the table was a head.  No dead body, no corpse.  A head.

"We only serve nice people? Where in the world did that come from? Sarah Joy didn't say while not lightly banging her forehead against the nearest purple wall.

"God you white people are so slow."

"Well," she sighed, "Mom wants me to keep my 'long beautiful hair.' She can keep it in a baggie if she wants.  I'm sick of it.  It takes forever to wash, forever to dry.  I just hate it. Can you cut it off?"

"Wasn't Brie the redhead in Desperate Housewives?"

"Who's there?" Sarah Joy politely asked.
"Lesbians!" was the giddy reply.

Gary looked at the puke and wondered what kind of three year old eats shrimp and feta cheese.

He grabbed an impressive, expensive-looking bottle, wound up nicely, as though he were on a pitcher's mound, and threw the bottle against the wall.

Ever since she had arrived, Calluna had been carrying a polished mahogany box in front of her, using both hands.  She sat with it in her lap.

Instead of his usual "be careful out there," he just said, "Badass."

Sarah Joy found out why Millie had gone through this exercise when she handed Sarah Joy a bullet. A marble for a bullet. Quite a trade.

"And that is Sarah Joy's story of becoming a salon owner," Diane deadpanned.  "Pushed over the edge by a fat woman with a squishy head."

His clothes were half off, and he was just so casual, so cavalier.

With a rope around his neck, he was being dragged along behind her, and he clearly wasn't happy.

"I told you I want her out here, honey," Miss Pleasant flatly stated.  "I've got a short fuse and I'm through with you.  It's your move."

"See this one?  She has some lipstick on her moustache."

"Haven't I seen all of you people stuffing money into red kettles at Christmas or helping old ladies across the street or giving warm coats to homeless people?"

"When I was in college, the fraternity decided to buy-sorry, Miss Florrie, no disrespect-a penis pump."

"You must think people with guns are fucking stupid," (a character) yelled.


And off they both went, on their adrenalin highs, now knowing that a new adventure can find you at any time, even when the sun is just rising on a new chapter of your life, on a very new day.